quadruplex telegraph

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June 16, 2005


snatch

Franky Four Fingers : "Where is the stone? Where is the stone? Where is the stone? Michael, where is the stone?"

Tommy : "Is he allowed to do that?"
Turkish : "It's an unlicensed boxing match, Tommy, not a tickling competition. These lads are out to hurt each other."

Turkish: "How am I supposed to run this thing from that? We're going to need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're gonna buy it for me."
Tommy: "Why me?"
Turkish: "Well, you know about caravans."
Tommy: "How's that?"
Turkish: "You spent the summer in one, which means, you know more than me. And I don't want to have me pants pulled down over the price."
Tommy: "What's wrong with this one?"
Turkish: "(He pulls the door off the hinges.) Oh nothing, Tommy. It's tip top. It's just, I'm not sure about the color."

Turkish: "What's happened to thoso sausages, Charlie?"
Charlie: "Five minutes, Turkish."
Turkish: "It was two minutes five minutes ago."

Tommy: "They ain't pikeys are they? I fuckin' hate pikeys."

Turkish: "Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?"
Tommy: "It's me belt, Turkish."
Turkish: "No, Tommy, there's a gun in your trousers. What is a gun doing in your trousers?"
Tommy: "It's for protection."
Turkish: "Protection from what? Zee Germans?"

Gary (Jason Buckham): "That's what you deserve Mr. Polford."
Brick Top Polford (Alan Ford): "Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are you Gary?"

Brick Top: "You're a ruthless little cunt, Liam. I'll give you that."

Brick Top: "Feed 'em to the pigs Erol."

Brick Top: "What the fuck are you two looking at?"

Turkish: "(Talking about Brick Top.) You got to deal with him. You just got to make sure you don't end up owing him. Cause then you're in his debt. Which means, your in his pocket. And once you're in that, you ain't ever coming out."

Turkish: "It's hard enough to make a living in the boxing world, so every now and then, you got to do something that might not agree with your principles. Basically, you have to forget you've got any."

'Avi': "Eighty-six karats."
Rosebud: "Where?"
Cousin Avi: "London."
Rosebud: "London?"
Cousin Avi: "London."
Avi's Colleague: "London?"
Cousin Avi: "Yes, London. You know, fish, chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins. London!"

Turkish: "If it's stones and it's stolen, Doug's the man to speak to. He pretends he's Jewish, wishes he was Jewish, even tells his family, they're Jewish, but he's about as Jewish as he is a fucking monkey."

Doug 'The Head' Denovitz: "What are you doing here?"
Jewish Teenager: "It's a free country isn't it?"
Doug The Head: "Well, it ain't a free shop, is it? So fuck off!"

Doug The Head: "I want to see you two girls up in my office. I just had Cousin Avi on the phone. You know you got to go out and see him."
Alex: "Yeah Dad, you told us."
Doug The Head: "He's a big mucker in New York."
Susi: "Yeah Dad, you told us."
Doug The Head: "I want to see you two girls up in my office."
Alex and Susi: "Yeah Dad, you told us."

Gorgeous George: "It's a campsite. A pikey campsite."
Tommy: "Ten points."
Gorgeous George: "What are we doing here?"
Tommy: "We're buying a caravan."
Gorgeous George: "Off a pack of fucking pikeys?" What's wrong with you? This will get messy.
Tommy: "Oh, not if you're here."
Gorgeous George: "Oh, you bastard. I fucking hate pikeys."

Pikey Kid: "Who are you looking for?"
Tommy: "Mr. O'Niel."
Pikey Kid: "Eo you want me to go and get him?"
Tommy: "That's a good lad."
Gorgeous George: "Piss off."
Tommy: "Are you going to go and get him for me?"
Pikey Kid: "Yeah."
Tommy: "What are you waiting for?"
Pikey Kid: "The five quid you're going to pay me."
Tommy: "Fuck off, I'll find him meself."
Pikey Kid: "Two fifty."
Tommy: "You can have a quid."
Pikey Kid: "Oh, you're a real tight fucker aren't you?"

Turkish: "Now, there was a problem with pikeys or gypsies."
Mickey O'Neil: "What're you doing? Get out of the way, man."
Turkish: "You can,t really understand much of what is being said."
Mickey: "You Tommy? Come about the caravan?"
Tommy: "Mr. O'Niel."
Mickey: "Fuck, man. Call me Mickey."
Turkish: "It's not Irish, not English."
Tommy: "How are you?"
Mickey: "Weather's been kind."
Turkish: "It's just Pikey."
Mickey: "Fuck me. Would you look at the size of him. How big are you?"

Mickey: "Fuck me. Would you look at the size of him. How big are you? Hey kids, how big is he?"
Pikey Kid #1 : "Big man, that's for sure."
Mickey: "Hey, Mam, come looke at the size of this fella."

Mickey: "Betcha you box a little, can't you, sir? You look like a boxer."

Mickey: "Good dags. Do you like dags?"
Tommy: "Dags?"
Mickey: "What?"
Mrs. O'Neil: "Yeah, dags."
Mickey: "Dags. You like dags?"
Tommy: "Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags."

Mickey: "The deal was, you bought it how you saw it. Now, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. You see that car? So just use it before you're not welcome anymore."
Gorgeous George: "I think you..."
Mickey: "You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you."
Gorgeous George: "Nobody..."
Mickey: "Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking. Right."
Tommy: "Sorry, Mickey. Just give us our money back and you can keep your caravan."
Mickey: "Why the fuck to I wanta a caravan that's got no fucking wheels?"

Mickey: "You want the money? I ain't fucked. I'll fight you for it, you and me."

Turkish: "It turned out that the sweet-talking tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes, Tommy knows he'll be burried with him. Why would the gypsies want to go to the trouble of explaining why a man died in their campsite? Not when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp. It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy, "The Tit" is praying. And if he isn't, he fucking should be."

Sol : "No, it's a moissanite."
Bad Boy Lincoln: "A whatanite?"
Sol: "A moissanite is an artificial damond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not Genuine. And it's worth fuck-all."

Tyrone : "I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats."
Vincent: "Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate."
Tyrone: "While I'm at the wheel, it's my car, so stop that dog dribbling on my seats. All right?"

Vincent: "Aye!"
Sol: "What?"
Vincent: "I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from aye?"

Sol: "Just worry about getting us a gun yeah."
Vincent: "Yeah?"
Sol: "What is that?"
Vincent: "This isa a shotgun, Sol."
Sol: "It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent."
Vincent: "Yeah, well, I want to raise some pulses don't I?"
Sol: "You'll raise hell, nevermind pulses."

Vincent: "Why'd you do that for?"
Tyrone: "I didn't see it there."
Vincent: "It's a four ton-truck Tyrone. It's not as though it's a packet of fucking peanuts. Is it?"
Tyrone: "It was a funny angle."
Vincent: "It's behind you, Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you."

Turkish: "Why the fuck did you put Gorgeous George into a bare-knuckle boxing match two days before he had to fight the Bomber?"
Tommy: "He was half his size. I didn't expect him to get hurt."
Turkish: "You put the man into a bare-knuckle boxing match. What the fuck did you expect? A gease-down and a shiatsu?"

Tommy: "You said get a good deal."
Turkish: "I fail to recognize the correlation between losing 10 grand, hospitalizing Gorgeous and a good deal."

Mickey: "How much you gonna pay us?"
Tommy: "10 K."
Mickey: "Ah, me bollocks. Lose more than that running for the bus."

Mickey: "All right! I'll do it for a caravan. "
Turkish: "A what?"
The Pikeys: "A caravan."
Mickey: "Top of the range and all that."
Tommy: "It was us that wanted a caravan. Anyway, what's wrong with this one?"
Mickey: "It's not for me. It's for me ma."
Tommy: "Your what?"
The Pikeys: "His ma."

Turkish: "Brick Top runs an illegal bookies. They take bets on anything that involves blood and pain. Now I'm changing fighters and Brick Top's gonna exploit the situation. He's gonna pull my pants down, grease me up, and aim for penetration. And if I didn't have the replacement pikey, he'd want to split me in half."

Turkish: "They could charm the paint off walls, these fellas."

Brick Top: "Look mean now, you hairy fucker."

Brick Top: "Shits himself when you put him in the ring. Poke him with a stick, you watch his bollocks grow."

Turkish: "We've lost Gorgeous George."
Brick Top: "Shhhhh... You're going to have to repeat that."
Turkish: "We've lost Gorgeous George."
Brick Top: "Well, where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is he? And it ain't as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous now, is it?"

Turkish: "We're not backing out."
Brick Top: "You bet your bollocks to a barndance you're not backing out."
Tommy: "We're changing the fighter."
Brick Top: "Oh, fuck me, your lady friend got a voice? And who might you be changing him to sweetheart?"
Turkish: "You won't know him, but he's mustard."
Brick Top: "Mustard? I don't care if he's Muhammed "I'm Hard" Bruce Lee, you can't change fighters."
Turkish: "Look, you've still got your fight."
Brick Top: "No. I lose all bets at the bookies. You can't change fighters at the last minute. So, no, I don't have my fight, do I, you fucking prat?"
Tommy: "You can take bets at the fight."
Brick Top: "Put a lead on her, Turkish, before she gets bitten. And you don't want to get bitten, now, do you sweetheart."

Brick Top: "You're on thin-fucking-ice my pedegree chums. And I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off."

Cousin Avi: "Is there gambling involved?"
Doug The Head: "It's a boxing match, Avi, a boxing match."
Cousin Avi: "Did he have a case with him?"
Doug The Head: "Yes he had a case."
Cousin Avi: "And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've-got-a-problem-with-gambling" fucking Four Fingers, Doug."
Doug The Head: "Avi, I'm not telepathic."
Cousin Avi: "Well' you're plenty fucking stupid, I'll give you that. Do you have any idea why they call him Franky Four Fingers, Doug?"
Doug The Head: "No, I have no idea."
Cousin Avi: "Well, because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people. And when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug. And I'm not talking about his fucking foreskin either."
Doug The Head: "Avi, I'm sure he can pay."
Cousin Avi: "Well, not with my goods he isn't. You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London!"

Doug The Head: "Avi."
Cousin Avi: "Shut up and sit down, you big bald fuck!"

Cousin Avi: "I don't like leaving my own country, Doug. And I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats."
Doug The Head: "Well, we've got sandy beaches."
Cousin Avi: "So, who the fuck wants to see 'em?"

Cousin Avi: "Are we ever gonna get into this place? Huh?"
Doug The Head: "Avi, Avi, you gotta understand. This ain't exactly Vegas, and this ain't exactly legal."
Cousin Avi: "I'm not looking for Vegas. And I'm not looking for legal. I'm looking for Franky Fucking Four Fingers."
Doug The Head: "I know that, and he said that uh' he said he's gonna be here. "
Cousin Avi: "Well, if there's gambling involved, he'll be here."

Sol: "Is that him?"
Vincent: "I don't know. How many fingers did he have?"
Sol: "I'm sorry, I didn't get the binoculars out in time."

Sol: "Fill that bag."
Lady At Bookies: "All bets are off."
Sol: "I am not in here to make a fucking bet."
Lady At Bookies: "Apreciated, but all... bets... are... off... If all bets are off, then there can't be any money. Can there?"
Sol: "I ain't fucking buying that."
Lady At Bookies: "Well, that's handy, cause I ain't fucking selling it. It's a fact."

Tyrone: "What the fuck are you two doing?"

Vincent: "Who the fuck is this man Tyrone?"
Tyrone: "He's a man with four fingers and a briefcase, Vinnie."

Turkish: "So Mickey, you're going down in the fourth. Is that clear?"
Mickey: "Just make sure he doesn't kill me before the fucking fourth."

Turkish: "Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker. Well, he is a fat fucker, but he's dirty and he's dangerous."

Gambler: "Well, thanks for the tip, Brick Top."
Brick Top: "Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking jacobs off."

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: "Give me the stone."
Vincent: "It's in the case."
Boris The Blade: "What?"
Vincent: "It's in the case."
Boris The Blade: "You put the stone in the case? Then open the case and give me the stone."
Sol: "The only man who knew the combination, you just shot."

Brick Top: "Go and put the kettle on."
Turkish: "Do you take sugar?"
Brick Top: "No thank you, Turkish. I'm sweet enough."

Mickey: "No, look, she wants the ??? with two roof lights. Uh the ???? ??? ???. And the ???? ???? with the matching ??? ????. Yeah, right. And she's terribly partial to the periwinkle blue boys. Have I made myself clear boys?"
Turkish: "Yeah, that's perfectly clear Mickey, yeah. Just give me one minute to confer with my collegue. Did you understand a single word of what he just said?"

Tommy: "There's something very wrong about this. It was us that wanted to buy a caravan off of him."
Turkish: "Well, why didn't you bust a cap in his ass then, Tommy. Mind you, you'd do more damage if you throw it at him."
Tommy: "What, are you saying I can't shoot?"
Turkish: "Oh no, Tommy. I wasn't saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. What I was saying is, that six pan piece of shit stuck in your trousers there would do more damage if you fed it to him."
Tommy: "You saying the gun don't work?"
Turkish: "You tried it?"

Bad Boy Lincoln: "What has he got a tea cosy on his head for?"
Sol: "To keep his head warm."
Bad Boy Lincoln: "What happened to him?"
Sol: "He got shot in the face Lincoln. I would have thought that was obvious."
Bad Boy Lincoln: "What'd you do that for? You mistake him for a rabbit? What do you want me to do about it?"
Vincent: "Sort it out."
Bad Boy Lincoln: "I'm not a fucking witch doctor."
Sol: "But you are a bad boy yardie and bad boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies."
Bad Boy Lincoln: "I create the bodies. I don't erase the bodies."

Brick Top: "Goody gumdrops."

Sol: "Grab hold of his legs."
Bad Boy Lincoln: "What do you think I'm gonna grab him by, his fucking ears?"

Brick Top: "You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up the corpse into six pieces and pile it all together."
Sol: "Would someone mind telling me, who are you?"
Brick Top: "And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them. Cause it's no good leaving it in the deep freezer for your mum to discover. Now, is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You gotta starve the pigs for a few days, then the site of a chopped-up body would look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victems and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sifting through pigshit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least 16 pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression "as greedy as a pig"."

Vincent: "Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, I mean, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs, of course."

Brick Top: "Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified, in this case, by a horrible cunt. Me."

Cousin Avi: "So, what should I call you? Should I call you "Bullet"? "Tooth"?"
Bullet Tooth Tony : "You can call me "Susan" if it makes you happy."

Bullet Tooth Tony: "The bookies got blagged last night."
Cousin Avi: "Blagged? Speak english to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language and so far, nobody seems to speak it."

Mullet: "Hell, I got fucking black ink all over fuck boy. He's stained for fucking life. That and the golden teeth as well. Fucking hell, mate."

Mullet: "What the fuck you doing, Tony?"
Bullet Tooth Tony: "Driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What you think I'm doing you penis?"

Bullet Tooth Tony: "You using dog shit for toothpaste, Mullet?"

Cousin Avi: "Give me a name."
Sol: "Yurnov. Boris."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "Boris The Blade?"
Sol: "Yeah."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "As in Boris The Bullet-Dodger?"
Cousin Avi: "Why do they call him The Bullet-Dodger?"
Bullet Tooth Tony: "Because he dodges bullets, Avi."

Vincent: "What the fuck do you mean, replicas?"
Sol: "They look the shit don't they? And nobody is gonna argue. And I've got some extra loud blanks, just in case."
Vincent: "In... Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?"

Tommy: "Cows have only been domesticated in the last 8000 years. Before that, they were running around mad as lorries. The human digestive system hasn't got used to any dairy products yet."
Turkish: "Well, fuck me, Tommy. What have you been reading?"

Vincent: "I don't want a fuss. And I don't want to put a bullet in your face, but unless you give me exactly what I want, there will be fucking murders."

Bullet Tooth Tony: "So, you're obviously the big dick, and that on either side of you, are your balls. There are two types of balls: There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls."
Vincent: "These are your last words so make them a prayer."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "Dicks have drive and carity of vision, but they're not clver. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggt balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you're having second thoughts. You're shrinking. And your two little balls are shrinking with you. The fact that you've got "Replica" written on the side of your gun, and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle .50" written on the side of mine, should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence."


Vincent: "Give me the case."
Avi: "Fuck you, shoot me."

Boris The Blade: "Pass me case, or I shoot you."
Avi: "You know what? Fuck you too."

Sol: "What is it doing down there?"
Vincent: "Well, I put it there in case we got mugged."
Sol: "You ain't from this planet, are you Vincent? Who is gonna a mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sitting in a car that's worth less than your shirt?"

Bullet Tooth Tony: Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity

Avi: "You people live like animals."

Vincent: "It's empty."
Cousin Avi: "I'm getting heartburn. Tony, do something terrible."

Vincent: "The dog. The dog must have ate it."
Cousin Avi: "Now then, let's have a look shall we? Tony."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "What?"
Cousin Avi: "Look in the dog."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "You mean, "look in the dog"?"
Cousin Avi: "I mean open him up."
Bullet Tooth Tony: "It's not a tin of baked beans. What do you mean, open him up?"

Avi: "I hate fucking dogs! Come on, Tony!"

Customs Agent: "Anything to declare?"
Cousin Avi: "Yeah, don't go to England."

Mickey: "Need to have a shite!"

Bricktop's Henchman: "I fucking hate pikeys!"

Bricktop's Henchman: "Fucking hate pikeys!"

Errol: "Oye, fuck-face, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?"
Turkish: "Fuck-face? I like that one, Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum."

Mickey: "Gonna be a tragedy of a fight. Be a nice one, nice one. Hell of a way to be a war. And there none a yours."

Turkish: "Now we are fucked."

Turkish: "For every action, there's a reaction. And a pikey reaciton is quite a fucking thing."

Turkish: "I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?"
Policeman: "What's in the car?"
Turkish: "Seats and a steering wheel."

June 02, 2005


kaakai siraginile...

kaakai siraginile nandhalala - nindran
kariya niram thondrudhaye nandhalala

paarkum marangalellam nandhalala - nindran
pachai niram thondrudhaye nandhalala

ketkum oliyil ellam nandhalala - nindran
geetham isaikudhada nandhalala

theekkul viralai vaithal nandhalala - ninnai
theendum inbam thondrudhada nandhalala
--Bharathiyar

I just love this poem.It just substantiates the
fact that he is a lyrical genius.I will try to
translate the poem but i cant use the
beautiful metaphors that dazzle in the tamil
version.

nandhala ( lord krishna )

all my senses
are thy manifestations
crows feather thy black
the trees thy green
the sounds thy rhyme
the burning flame
yields me pleasure of touching thee

June 01, 2005


X & Y

X & Y,Coldplay's latest album is out at last,scheduled to
be released in stores on the 9th of June.I was lucky to
be one of the first few to have a taste of the new coldplay
sound.The hype that chris martin was experimenting
with a bit of rap turns out to be false.There are 13 tracks
totally including a bonus track."Square One",the first
track sets the pace and the mood for the album.X & Y is
more Rush of Bloodsy than Parachutesy.Rushing through
all the 13 tracks at one go is a bit strenuous on the ear.
"Speed of Sound" which was released before the album as
as single stands out clearly from the rest."X & Y" the title
track is just awesome and would make you sing along
( "You and me are floating on a tidal wave,together You
and me are drifting into outer space" ) the very first time
you hear it."What if" and "White shadows" possess the
fluttery trademark coldplay sound from "Spies" and
"Clocks"."Swallowed in the sea" is very poetic and is
probably the best love song in any Coldplay album.
"Till kingdom come",the bonus track sounded like a
Bob Dylan wannabe with a sound very familiar.
The rest of the album didnt make a deep impact on first
hearing but am sure they will be late hits.Now considering
the amount of time Coldplay took to make this album, i
consider this a bit of a letdown.There isnt much
experimental in this album as was hyped.I think the
primary differance is that there isnt much piano used
in this album like in "Parachutes".There are a few songs
that sound like ripoffs from REM and Radiohead. Having
sold more than 10 millions records,being on the same
level as U2,this album definitely is not their best.Chris
Martin can never be Bono.